1. My phone alarm went off a 3:50am. (Have I mentioned I'm not a morning person???) When I looked at the temp, it was 79 degrees and a heat advisory was already issued for the day. Blah.
2. I found my missing shoes. After the previous week's 17 miler, my feet were killing me. So, I thought wearing the Brooks PureFlows that I misplaced would help prevent the achy feet this week. I'm pretty sure Jake thought hiding them under the bed would prevent me from all of this early morning running. Sorry, pup, I have other shoes!
3. Bugs suck. I have no idea how many I ate when running through the lake. It was too dark and they were everywhere.
4. Jack Huppert is AWESOME. Once again, we had cold water, Gatorade, and some refreshing orange slices. He also dipped some towels in ice water. He totally rocks!
5. I hate the sun. The last 6 miles were pretty much all sun and it just fried my brain. You know it's sad when you start to pick up your pace because you can see 5 feet (maybe) of shade a quarter of mile away.
6. Around mile 13, I realized my underarms were chaffing. I've been chaffed many times in many different places. I usually don't notice until I take shower and the chaffy bits feel like they are on fire. However, I was VERY much aware of it this time. At one point, I thought I may have been bleeding, but was reassured that it was just sweat because, OH, YEAH, I SWEAT A LOT.
7. Self-doubt is brutal. The last 4 miles had me questioning my sanity. It was hot and I was whiny and I was just trying to get done. Running hurt. Walking hurt. My brain hurt. I hated everything about the entire thing.
8. Tim was my cheerleader that morning. I may have thanked him for the support, but I'm sure I also cussed at him. I love you, Tim. Thanks for tolerating my crazy.
9. We finished about a mile away from Leah's house. I was all out of water. I walked that mile searching for a water spout on the side of every house we passed. Sadly, I didn't find one, but if I did, I would have caused a spike in the person's water bill. Next long run, I will remember to pack some cash so I can pop into Casey's.
10. Including stops for restrooms, etc., we were out there for 4 hours. When I signed up for the marathon I put a finishing time of 5:30. I had hoped I could come in closer to 5 hours. At this point, I'll be happy if I finish at all.
So, yeah. I guess the reason it's been hard to write about the 18 miles is because it shattered the very little bit of confidence I had about this whole marathon thing. Or maybe the sun just fried my brain. Shrug. Regardless, I never thought the training would be easy. I knew that I would be physically pushing my limits-- I'm still a chunky monkey, after all. I guess I never anticipated it being so mentally hard. Sure, running is mostly mental, but man, I've never had so many negative thoughts at one time before. I mean, the negativity was just taking over everything, including my physical ability to just keep moving. Even when we finished and Tim gave me a high five, I was in a fog run hate. There was no love there in that moment. I hated running.
A few weeks later, I am less negative. In actuality, I was better that afternoon (sitting on my butt in the cold air conditioning helped!) and was pretty happy that I was able to finish that run. Sure, they were 18 miles of doubt and insecurity, but I did manage to keep on pushing and sometimes that is just what ya gotta do. I'm sure my running buddies have similar feelings as I do, they are probably just a better at expressing them sanely. I tend to be dramatic at times. :)
Anyway, this upcoming weekend we have 19 miles. The temperature looks to be cooler, so maybe that will help??? Expect an overly dramatic blog post at some point!
Running is hard, but these folks make it a bit easier!
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