Trying to Stay Calm

Just so you know, I'm a ball of crazy right now, so this post could be a train wreck.  Consider yourself warned.

We are less than five (FIVE!!!) days out, and this marathon business is making me a lunatic!  One minute I'm full of amped up excitement, the next, I'm about to poop my pants in fear.  I remember being nervous before my first 5k and my first Half Marathon, but this is RIDICULOUS!   So many thoughts- both good and bad- are buzzing around in my brain, I just don't know how to silence the noise!!! 

Except for running.  Running always clears my head.  But guess what?  I'm suppose to be tapering, which means, I'm running less.  Way less.  It does not feel right.  A few weeks ago, I was clocking in 30-35 miles per week, and now I'm not even hitting 20!?!  This week I am only suppose to run a 3 miler and two 2 milers?  What?  WHAT?  WHHHHAAAATTT???  This is freaking me out!  What if I forget how to run!!!???

How I feel when folks ask me how much I'm running this week.

Big, deep breaths.  Sigh.

Obviously, the tapering concept is messing with me mentally.  I should have expected that.  I read many an article about it, yet I thought I would be immune.  Heck, last month, I was ready to run less!  I guess now that I'm actually doing so, it's just messing with my head a bit.  I know it's what I'm suppose to be doing.  I know it's suppose to help.  I just need to chill.  Breathe.

The other thing that is making me have mini-panic attacks is that final 6.2 miles.  I have done two 20 mile runs.   I was a wreck after the first one because I didn't fuel properly during the run.  The second one went better, but I walked more and my legs were a bit tight because of it.  Both left me feeling like I could maybe run more, but 6.2 miles more?  I'm not so sure!  What if I totally bonk at 20 and have a meltdown on the course?  I'm not above walking those last 6 miles, but I don't want to do so with a face full of snot and tears!  I enjoy myself more when I finish strong, but what if I just don't have it in me?  AHHHH!

Then of course, there is all the typical race day fears.  How cold am I going to be before the marathon starts?   What should I wear- do I really want to expose my chubby arms to thousands of people?  What am I going to eat the night before?  What if the Cardinal's game keeps me up too late the night before?  And I shudder to even think this, but what if I actually get the POOPS the day of?!?  (Non-runners:  Please don't judge.  Poop happens.)  So many things to worry about!

Truth. 

 

But there is also so much to be excited about!  I have been training for this for 18 weeks.  I have gotten up as early as 3 o'clock in the darn morning to prep for a run.  I have trained in horribly hot temps, downpours of rain, humidity that made it hard to even breathe!  It's time to cash that all in, right?  It's time for the pay off.  Sure, running 26.2 miles might sound like a crazy ass reward, but man, I want this so BAD.  I want to prove to myself that I can do this.

I'm ready for the pay off.

Another super exciting thing is there are so many of us that will be rockin' the streets of St. Louis this weekend!  I know about a dozen others that are going to be running that day-so many folks to cheer on!  I will be cheering for most of you from behind, but I will be cheering so loud and proud, you just might hear me! 

Also, I'm doing this with my best friend and biggest cheerleader.  Tim could have trained for his own race.  He didn't have to train with my slow butt, but he wanted to.  He wants to share that moment with me and that makes me feel all warm and wonderfully loved.  I am so lucky that we can share this.  It makes it even more special to me. 

He's pretty much the best.  

Okay, writing all that down calmed my nerves a bit-- for now anyway.  :)

Race Report: Mo' Cowbell Half Marathon

Mo' Cowbell Half Marathon
10/6/13

Saint Charles, MO

Time:  2:22:47

So, the more I think about this event, the more I feel crappy about it.  Figure I better get this blog up before I just talk myself out of writing it.  It is way more fun to write about a great run than a disappointing one. 

First off, Tim and I rocked this half last year!  We had great weather and we both ran personal bests.  It was well organized and had great amenities-- chocolate milk AND beer at the finish!  Also, the medals were awesome.  We were totally looking forward to running it this year. 

Mo' Cowbell 2012

Honestly, I didn't know what to expect with this half marathon.  Last weekend, I had a motivating 20 mile run and a pretty decent 4 miler at the Murphy Lake.  My overall times for my runs have been slower-- I blame the long runs on that-- but I had a pretty kick ass speed workout on Tuesday.  Mentally, I thought I was prepared for a half.  I wasn't expecting a PR or anything, but I was thinking some of the work I've been putting in would at least equate to a feel good run.  Unfortunately, the stars were just not aligned for me.

I woke up race day morning with a headache.   Earlier in the week I was plagued with a migraine and I just never fully felt 100%.  I didn't have my usual race day jitters, but I also wasn't feeling too confident about it either.  I just felt meh about it.  This is very unlike me.  I am usually a ball of nerves and excitement.  Also, I slept pretty crappy.  The pillows at the hotel were those puffy ones that completely deflate when you put your head on it.  Blah.  I also blame them for the bad hair day I was having.  I could not smooth that bump out to save my life! 

   Stupid bumpy hair.

 

We headed down to the start and although it was chilly, it wasn't nearly as cold as last year.  I looked for everyone that was running, but didn't have any luck.  I did run into Laura and was able to wish her luck on her Relay.  Tim and I parted ways at the corrals- they were so crowded.  Folks were squished in there like sausages.  I continued to look for Leah, Jaime and Tracy, but figured they were closer to the front, so I just gave up.  My legs were cold and felt pretty stiff.  I just had a bad feeling.  I didn't want to run.  Not even a little bit. 

 

So, the run begins and I'm just having issues from the start.  The shorts I was wearing-- shorts I have worn ALL summer long without any issues-- were riding up.  It hadn't even been a mile before I stepped off to the side to adjust them.  Ugh.  I had dead legs that just didn't feel like they were ever going to warm up.  I just couldn't get comfortable running.  Then, around mile 3, some jerk face spits his gum out and of course, I step in it.  Seriously, you have like 2000 runners BEHIND you and spit out your gum in the middle of the road?   WTF, man?  I did shout, "Not cool, man" to the guy, but of course he had earbuds in.  I stepped off and grabbed a leaf to get the gum off of the bottom of my shoe.  At this point, I'm just too annoyed to even think.  Guh.

 

I decided to not wear my hydration belt for this one.  I figured I'd just use the water stations.  This was not a good decision.  I forgot how much I hate dealing with the people at the water stations.  Someone sloshed water on my already cold legs and when I grabbed my cup, I got water all over my hands.  After this, the wind picked up and I was freezing.  So, yeah, mental note:  just wear you own water at larger events like this. 

 

I guess because of the water and the wind, by bladder decided to play tricks on me.  I felt like I really needed to pee.  I don't know if it was more mental or what, but the entire time I was running through an area called New Town, all I could think about was how bad I needed to use the bathroom.  I kept arguing with myself about this.  If I stopped, an already crappy run was going to equate to a crappy time.  However, if I stopped and took a potty break, maybe I would feel more comfortable running.  In the end, I decided to stop.  I looked at my watch the entire time I was waiting in line.  It was not a good feeling at all.

 

After the time killing potty break, I did feel a bit better running afterwards.  My legs never really decided to do what my mind wanted them to do.  They just continued to feel heavy and stiff.  Also, I started to feel a blister rubbing on the side of my foot.  I just felt discouraged.  About 8 miles in, I just had to accept that I was having a bad run day.  The goal at that point was just to get done and get my bling.

 

Despite all the unhappy, I did manage to find some moments of triumph on the course.  Last year a hill between mile 10 and 11 did me in.  This year, I was able to do it without any issues.  I also played "the fishing" game pretty successfully the final 3 miles.  I would pick out a person ahead of me and challenge myself to pass them.  This helped me get through those last miles and it also made me feel like I wasn't moving at a snail's pace. 

 

The last mile felt endless.  There were 2 hills to run down and they about killed me.  My blister pretty much exploded at the point and I wondered if I would even be able to walk afterwards.  When I finally saw the finish line,  I had my usual "Let's get this done!" push that was instantly deflated when a little munchkin decided to cross the finish line with his mama.  Ordinarily I would be all like, "Awww," but I was not happy with having to stop short less than 5 feet from the finish line because I didn't want to be the running monster that knocked a kid down when finishing.  Yeah, this just wasn't a good run day. 

 

Not a great run for me, but I'm always happy when I'm done!



 

So, I'm not happy with how I did.  I'm annoyed that I'm letting it bother so much.  I'm just nervous that I'll feel this way on the day of the marathon.  What if I feel awful the entire 26.2 miles?  Will I have the willpower to even muck through it?  Sigh.

 

Okay, enough of that.  Even though I had a crap running day, my running family did not.  Laura and Esther did fantastic on the Half Marathon Relay!  They finished in 3:20:03.  I'm so proud of them!  Laura is run/walking her first half marathon in 3 weeks!   

 

Determined Divas rocked Mo' Cowbell Marathon Relay!!!

 

I am so glad I didn't find Leah that morning.  I would have just held that girl back!  She rocked those 13.1 miles and totally smashed her previous record.  She came in at 2:07:06 and I'm so proud of her!  I don't think she'll have any issues with the marathon coming up! 

 

This pic is pretty crappy quality, but how freakin' fantastic is this shot? 

You gals are AWESOME!

 

Tim did fantastic, too.  Now, he was disappointed because he didn't match or beat his time from last year, but he came in at 1:43:07.  Considering he's been running with my slow butt, I think he should be pretty happy about that!  I know I'm proud of him!

 

Poor Timmy didn't PR.  So, he drowned his sorrows away.  :P

 

So, I guess if I can't find success in myself, at least I have a rockin' running family to inspire me! 

 

 

  The between sucked yesterday, but I did cross both. 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

Race Report: The Little Big Challenge

The Little Big Challenge
9/28/13

Lake Murphysboro State Park
Murphysboro, IL

 Time:  43:43

What an awesome event!  We heard about this run way back in February when we did Fly With the Eagles Half Marathon (ugh).  Tim was stoked about it.  Lake Murphysboro is a challenging course and since he loves those hills, it's pretty much one of his favorite places to run.  Sicko.  :P  Anyway, the race was put on by Big Brothers Big Sisters.  They did a fabulous job with it and I hope they can make this a yearly thing.  I really think that this race will grow.  If you're a runner in southern Illinois you HAVE to do this course!     

I had originally signed up for this one with the full intentions of going hard and see how well I could do on it.  Tim and I had been hitting up the lake pretty regularly and I was much stronger on it than I was when I was running it earlier this year.  I still hate those hills, but I think that they have helped me build endurance.  However, I ran TWENTY MILES the day before, so I told myself I'd just see how I felt the morning of.  I figured if I felt like a train hit me, I'd just walk it or cheer folks on.  No big deal.

Shockingly, I felt pretty good the morning of the event.  Sure, my legs were a bit stiff, but not like they were when I ran the 19 miler.  I was pretty happy about that.  Uh, maybe I will be able to walk the day after the marathon!  :)  Tim was totally off his game though.  We got up early and had coffee and my sister was having a yard sale, so she brought sausage biscuits-- totally broke his normal race day protocol.  His legs were a bit stiff, too, but he was still planning on giving it his all.

Funny enough, when we pulled up to the parking area at the start line, I saw my old boss, Dave Clarke there.  I've ran into him a few times over the years, but not ever at race event.  He was pretty shocked by how different I looked.  When I worked for him, I was about 60lbs heavier and my idea of running was only for the pizza man.  :P  (FYI- I still love my pizza.)  

There was only about 60 participants signed up.  I say only just because I really do think this event could be bigger.  There were several races that day, including one at SIU for Family Weekend.  Hopefully next year they move the date so they aren't competing with so much.

The race actually started going down hill.  Any other time, I would have been fine with that, but because my legs were so stiff, it wasn't very fun.  In the back of my head I actually thought that I should have warmed up (gasp!) before the start.  I wasn't having the greatest run.  My legs felt very sluggish and on the 3rd hill I seriously thought my calf was going to pop.  I ended up walking the 2 water stations.  I chatted with a high school friend, Stephanie, for a bit.  She had been running the lake in about an hour and she hoping to finish under that.  There was also a run/walker in a green tank that I played cat and mouse with the 2nd part of the race.  The final time I passed her, I told her that she would end up passing me again in a bit because I hated the last half mile of the route.  She laughed and said something about not so sure about that.  The last bit of the course really sucks.  It's not really a steep hill or anything, but just a long, winding incline.  Sure enough, Green Tank Girl passed me on a short downhill part.  When we were heading up the last hill I was right behind her and she looked like she was about to walk again, so I shouted, "Don't let me catch you now!"  It totally worked, the girl hustled her butt up to the finishing shoot.  Sure, I could have just pushed and whipped past her (maybe not- my legs were pulsing like crazy at that point) but it's more fun to be a cheerleader!  :) 

Tim was waiting for me with water and towel (Sweaty Betty in full effect, ya'll) at the finish.  I asked him how he did and he said "I finished in 29:31 and I puked."  I am so proud of him (his time, not the puke part)!  He said it was just a good run day for him.  He ended up coming in 1st in his age group and 4th overall.  Rockstar!

 Happy Tim!

 The medals were colored by the "Little Brothers & Sisters." 

Pretty awesome if you ask me!

My time was actually pretty typical for me.  My best time for the Lake is 43:27, so considering I ran 20 miles the day before, I'm pretty darn happy with 43:43. 

Seriously, what a great weekend for running!   

Upcoming Events:

10/6/2013- Mo' Cowbell Half Marathon
10/27/2023- Rock 'n Roll St. Louis Marathon (YIKES!)
11/9/2013- Women Together 5k
11/16/2013- Turkey Trot 5k/15k
12/14/2013- Santa's North Pole Dash 5k

Twenty!

As I have expressed, this training for a marathon thing has been HARD.  Not just physically and mentally, but finding all the time to run is sometimes an impossible task.  Trying to figure out how to get 30-40 miles in each week has not been easy.  Waking up at 4:30am on a work day is not my idea of fun.  Alarm clocks screaming at me at 3:30am is pretty much a circle of hell for me.  Running used to be fun and "easy," but this training has made it feel like a lot of work.  And I understand that.  I knew when I decided to torture myself by running 26.2 miles that I wasn't just committing to a one day event.  I was committing to MONTHS of training.  I knew this.  I really did.  It just didn't register with me how time consuming it would be. 

Twenty miles.  That number has been scaring me for a few weeks now.  According to the plan I'm following, my 20 mile run should be the weekend of October 7th.  However, I signed up for the Mo' Cowbell Half Marathon.  The question then became, should I do it BEFORE or AFTER the half???  Of course, I went to the evil Internets to see what I should do.  Ugh.  Bad idea.  Most plans say to aim to do it at least 3 weeks before the marathon.  This gives your body time to properly heal, yada, yada.  I read articles on tapering and how some folks start too soon, while others don't start soon enough.  The message boards were full of all sorts of conflicting advice.  It was making my brain hurt.  In the end, I let Tim twist my arm into just doing it the weekend before my half marathon.  I'm pretty sure he wanted this just so I would shut up about it.  We were taking Friday off from work and the weather looked questionable on Sunday, so we decided to just do it.  Steven had to get a 20 miler in as well, so we all planned to meet up and knock it out.  Props to Steven for agreeing to run with my slow butt. 

As usual, I was a nervous wreck the night before.  I had had a pretty mediocre running week.  I only got 2 runs in and they weren't the type that boosted any confidence.  I knew I was getting on Tim's nerves, so I just tried to go to bed early.  I slept poorly.  Shocker.

We met up at Steven's house around 4:30am.  It was pretty foggy out.  We stayed in town for the first few miles and then headed out towards Harrison Road.  Surprisingly, I felt pretty darn good those first 10 miles.  I think I may have even mentioned how much ass I was kicking at one point.  :)  We hit the Water Plant at mile 11.  I took a potty break and did a gel.  About a mile after that, my hip started hurting and I was just feeling a little tired.  I realized that I hadn't really drank much of my water, so I tried to take sips more often.  It was brighter out, so I started to lag back a bit from the boys.  My pace had decreased a lot.  Tim kept turning his head (I know he was worried about me), but I was actually okay going at it solo at that point.  We went to the marina entrance and then headed back towards town.  I was annoyed with Tim's route because there are 3 hills after the marina that I absolutely hate.  I bargained with myself that I would stop at mile 15 to walk a bit.  Well, that would have been in the middle of that last hill, so I forced myself to get up it and then walked.  Walking didn't really help.  It actually only made my hip hurt more.  Blah.

We continued on towards Lake Murphysboro.  I stopped again because my fuel belt was loosening so much that it was falling off.  Tim was sticking with me at this point.  I think he was sensing a come apart moment.  Steven was a bit ahead and turned back to wave to indicate he was heading out.  I was actually surprised that he stayed with us that long- he was going to work that day!  Tim apologized for all the hills.  Blah.  Stupid hills.  I swear I was looking at my watch every tenth of a mile.  Once we got out the lake, we only had one hill left (the hill that I used to not think was a hill! wink, wink) and about 1.5 miles to go.  And this is when I hit a massive wall.

My stomach cramped up and I started crying.  Oh yeah, it wasn't pretty.  Tim let me have my little "moment" before gently reminding me that we were almost done.  "We just have to get home now, babes.  Just gotta get down Cemetery Hill.  You got this."  I had a lot of doubt in me, but I knew he was right.  I started running (slowly) and promised myself not to look at my watch again until it beeped at 20 miles.  And when it beeped, I'm pretty sure I cried out in joy.

I think my issues at the end were because I didn't fuel or hydrate properly throughout the run.  I really hate doing gels, etc., but I was so shaky at the end, that I could tell my body needed something.  I gagged down a protein shake and tortured myself with the foam roller. 

Sweaty & tired, but proud.

 I will say this, I am glad to have it over with.  I feel a bit more confident now that I got the 20 miler under my belt.  I'm not sure if I'll do it again when my running pals run their 20-- I'm going to see how my legs feel this week and after the half marathon.  I'd like to just so I can play around with the fueling a bit more.  I'm still terrified of running 6.2 more miles, but I think I can get it done with Tim's encouragement.  I just need to believe in myself...

Oh, it was our 10 year anniversary that day, too!   After the run, Tim made me pancakes and surprised me with this: 

Yeah, I have the best husband ever.