This week has been a roller coaster of emotions! One moment I am excited, the next a ball of nerves! I'll just be sitting there and then BAM, it hits me- I will be running Thirteen Point Freakin' One miles this weekend!
A plethora (one of my favorite fifty cent words) of fears and concerns have come to mind throughout the week. My biggest concern (at the moment!) has been all the darn people. There are over 20,000 runners! Yikes! I'm afraid with all the excitement I'll run too fast in the beginning and burn out. Everyone that I have talked to that run half and full marathons say to just relax and try not to burn too much energy trying to pass folks- just relax and find my groove. Hopefully, I will remember the advice Sunday morning!
Also, hills are still a concern for me. Every time I am I running up a hill, every fiber of my being is telling me stop. My legs are screaming, "What the frak do you think you are doing? Stop it!" I have this ongoing debate my head:
Runner Beeje: Come on, just a bit longer. You got this!
Hill Hater Beeje: Oh, who are you kidding? You can't do this! Just give up already, that's what you really want to do anyway!
Runner Beeje: No, I can do this. Just run to that light post, there ya go, now to that mailbox...
Hill Hater Beeje: Whatever, girl! You are crazy-- look at how much more you have to go!
Runner Beeje: I can do this! Ugh! I hate freakin' hills!
In the end, I do make it up it, but I swear I tell myself that I won't every darn time. Sometimes it takes me a few minutes to recover from the hill. I'm not sure what kills me the most, the actual physical activity or the arguing with myself!
This week I was determined to get a few runs in. Nothing too hard, just enough to keep my head in the game. I was, however, determined to run up cemetery hill one last time before the race. That hill has been beating me lately, and I just needed to remind myself that I could do it. Tim wasn't feeling well, so I went on a short run solo. It is so hard for me to run alone, especially the first mile, but once I got to that hill, I was dead set on making it up it without those negative thoughts holding me back. I am happy to say that is exactly what I did. Sure, I was breathing hard and I probably had a grimace on my face, but I made it up that darn hill. It eased my jitters a bit about hills on the race course, but I won't be too upset if the course is hill free!
Oddly enough, I no longer have the not finishing fear. I firmly believe that I will finish the half even it means I'm crawling to that finish line! I have trained for this for months now; I know that I can run the miles. It's just a matter of enjoying it at this point. I want to have fun, take in all the inspiration around me. Celebrate the fact that I can do this. Earlier this year I wouldn't have considered myself a runner. I was wrong. I may not run fast or look like your typical running chic, but none of that matters to me anymore. I am a runner. Period.
Soon after the race I will do a recap blog of how awesome the half went! I will try not to drag my feet on it. If any of you want to track me during the race, you can go this website:
http://runrocknroll.competitor.com/st-louis
My bib number is 15777 and Tim's is 9049. I am not sure how it works, it just said they will have tracking available on the website. Most of you will get a text from me at some point though!
Again, I have to thank everyone that has given me well wishes, words of advice and encouragement. Seriously, I appreciate it! My friends are probably annoyed with all of my running talk-- thanks for putting up with me and believing in me during those times I didn't.
Special shout out to the Schemonia Clan-- that card made my day! Thanks!
Also, I was obviously lucky when I married Tim because he is so awesome, but I also became a part of a family that is so supportive and wonderful! I so look forward to hearing cheers from THE BEST cheerleaders ever!
Of course, none of this running business would not have even happened for me if it wasn't for Tim. You rock, babes! I know you are going to kick those 26.2 miles in the butt! I can't wait to hug you after-- I don't care how sweaty you are!
Leah and Jaime-- This is what we have been working for! All of those hot days are going to pay off for us this weekend! We got this! Running with you guys has been so fun (yes, I said fun!) and I hope we can keep it up even after the race. Who knows what we can train for next...
Tracy-- You are one inspirational lady! I just know you are going to do awesome Sunday! I only wish I could cheer you on at the finish! I'll get there as soon as I can though!
Okay. Time to ease the mind a bit. AHHHH! I'm so EXCITED!!!!
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